We are Lovable

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “How could anyone possibly love me?”

For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones.  This belief can cause us to choose (or even stay) in relationships that are less than we deserve because we don’t believe we deserve better.

We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love.  We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved.  Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life.  We may have concluded that the reason we weren’t loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one.

If others couldn’t love us, or love us in ways that worked, that’s not our fault. In recovery, we’re learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others.   And we are learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us.

Just as we may have believed that we’re unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable.

This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self.

We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve.

From: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie