Learning about Co-dependency
Co-dependence is a disease that deteriorates our souls. It affects our personal lives: our families, children, friends, and relatives; our businesses and careers; our health; and our spiritual growth.
It is debilitating and if left untreated, causes us to become more destructive to ourselves and others.
There are 4 areas of patterns to look for:
- Denial Patterns consist of having difficulty identifying feelings; minimize, alter or deny your feelings; perceive yourself as being completely unselfish, dedicated to the well-being of others.
- Low self-esteem patterns consist of having difficulty making decisions; are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts; value other people’s approval of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors over self-approval; are unable to ask others to meet your needs or wants; judge your thoughts, words, and actions as never being good enough; do not perceive yourself as lovable or worthwhile.
- Compliance Patterns consist of compromising your values and integrity to avoid rejection and other peoples anger; are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long; place a higher value on others’ opinions and feelings, and are afraid to express differing viewpoints or feelings; put aside personal interest or hobbies to do what others want; accept sex as a substitute for love.
- Control Patterns consist of believing most others are incapable of taking care of themselves; attempting to convince others what they should think or feel; become resentful when others refuse your offers of help; freely offer advice and guidance without being asked; lavish gifts and favors on those you care about; use sex to gain approval or acceptance; have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
– From Co-dependents Anonymous
If you see yourself in here the way I did, do not worry, there is hope and I will keep posting it so check in often and smile, it really is going to be okay.
