Life: Fading In versus Fading Out
Maui Memorial Medical Center requires that respiratory therapists attend c-section births. It is a pretty good practice in my opinion, as long as we are staffed appropriately. So a few days ago it was my turn. I received my assignment and anticipated how the day would go. I had a little time on my hands and I remember reflecting on my years in this field. I was feeling tired and a little worn out and I had the thought that maybe I should be retiring soon, even though I am not near the age, I seriously thought about it. I had the thought that maybe I was, what we in the field call, “burned out”. Then my call came to go to my first c-section.
We have this routine we go through once we put on the “hazmat” suit, cover our shoes, hair, face and hands. We review all the equipment, going through a quick check of pressures etc to make sure, in the event we have to resuscitate a baby, everything is working properly. So as I proceeded to do that, I began thinking about how much of my career in healthcare has been about watching life go out, sometimes very quickly in the ER setting and other times very slowly. With the many years I spent in Houston long term acute care hospitals, I watched as some patients got better, flourished and went home, but oftentimes it would be to assist with their transition to the “next life”, relieving suffering and comforting family members. I don’t think about it often, I just am in work mode and it is second nature. But on this day of all days I was feeling drained, tired and as I contemplated leaving healthcare, this is where my thoughts went, on how much of life I have watched make the final curtain call and fade out.
And just like that, I was awakened from my catatonic trance by the cries of this newborn baby taking it’s first breath and I was returned to the world. I looked over and could see the baby’s head and umbilical cord still attached to mom, the place where she supplied vital life sustaining nutrients throughout the nine month incubating period. I couldn’t help but tear up and be happy for mom, dad and baby. Next in our routine the nursery RN “catches” the baby from the obstetrician and she and I stimulate them by wiping their body vigorously, suctioning nose and mouth if needed, placing id bracelet on and wrapping them up like a papoose to be handed over to the proud parents. By the way it was a boy, and as I looked at his cute little handsome face, I thought wow, you are beautiful, life is so darn beautiful and look how blessed I am. I have been watching and assisting with life fading out and God has now blessed me with the opportunity to watch life fade in.
Life can get us all down. Feeling tired and drained has a way of placing our thoughts in such a dark, negative place. But just like that, God can and will turn a situation around, clear your head and give you something to be thankful for, just trust him. He has a plan for all of us and it is tailor made just for you. In Jer 29:11 NIV it reads,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Thank you Lord, you are awesome.
Blessings as always,
Fran
