Part Two Feeling Overwhelmed Series: Changing/Loving Self
In part one we talked about awareness. If you are not even aware of a problem, you cannot change it. Let’s now look at changing any unhealthy behavior to become a more confident you. I believe that starts with self love. If you have a love of self like you may have for others, then you can make better decisions which in turn build self-esteem. And with good self-esteem, you realize your value and worth and stop putting others before you and your needs. Believe it or not, it all begins with self-care.
The great poet Maya Angelou said,“when someone shows you who they are, believe them”, so I think we all can agree that we cannot change anyone but ourselves. Others are the way they are, and if you are anything like me, I spent way too many years trying to change people to fit into my world, so I was comfortable, so I felt secure, so I could see that I mattered to someone, Whew…there are way too may I’s in that sentence. I wasn’t aware of it then, but in hindsight I can honestly say my belief was if I love them (them could be friends, family or that one special person) this much, this hard, this unconditionally, then they will love me back that same way and with the same measure. No, not even hardly. They were going to love me their way, with their experiences leading and guiding them, not mine. I cannot tell you how hard I honestly believed if I loved a person this way and was completely loyal to them, then they would reciprocate. I gave so much of myself that when the end of the relationship came, I took it harder than the normal person would have and became paralyzed with pain, loss and grief.
I want to leave you with a page from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, titled Self-Care. It can help you love yourself, see your worth, that you do matter to the one that created you. You are a child of the most high God and he has a plan that is tailor made just for you.
Rest when you’re tired.
Take a drink of cold water when you’re thirsty.
Call a friend when you’re lonely.
Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed.
Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect ourselves. Many of us have learned how to push ourselves hard (guilty), when the problem is that we’re already pushed too hard.
Many of us are afraid the work won’t get done if we rest when we’re tired. The work will get done; it will be done better than work that emerges from a tiredness of soul and spirit. Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.
They are well-timed, efficient and Divinely led.
Blessings,
Fran
